Soliloquoy I

Do or do not. There is no try.

Is there? Well, sure there is. And that'll make you 'do or do not'. What there isn't, is indecision. It's all binary - you do or you don't. You try or you don't. You die or you don't. There is not 'deciding not to decide'. It doesn't push you through the door, it doesn't propel you past the fork in your life's path.

Hell, most of the time it doesn't matter. You want butter on that toast, or not? Who gives a toss. The bigger decisions, of course, we have more trouble with. So we make it okay to choose wrongly - I'll just divorce, take out a loan, pay a fine, apologise. We're just one action away from taking our wrong decisions back to stage one and making them all over again.

So why do we always make shitty choices? And why are we never happy with the choices we've made?

At the end of the day, every choice leaves a regret behind. A decision implies good things that must be decided between. You can't have your cake and eat it. And so the binary option leaves behind a ghost of the could-have-been. The chosen path is not the troubling matter. It is not our marriages, our financial situation, our laws or our actions that we are troubled with. It's the choices we didn't make that irritate us. It is the ghosts that we have to deal with.

At the end of the day, there are no 'bad' choices. There are decisions we believe in and decisions that we don't. All that matters is that we make the next decision confident that the preceding one was right.

It is the choices we don't make, and the paths we don't take, that define who we truly are. Any fool can be happy with what he has with him. It's the one who is happy with what he's left behind that is truly Happy.